This past Sunday we went to church to attend G's father's "Father's Day" Mass. (G's father passed away about 30 years ago. G's mother always has a mass said for him around Father's Day.)
G and I are not regular church goers however we have been to this church several times. Sunday was a smaller than normal congregation. It was a really nice morning so we walked. These three details have nothing to do with the story but wanted to mention them anyway.
There is a family that attends every Sunday at 10:30 am and they always sit in the front. It is a relatively large family and three generations tend to go together. I don't know their name or even where they actually live. One family member is in a wheelchair, she has been since a she was in an accident in high school in the 70's. I don't know the proper term for her condition....I will describe it. She is awake but has no motor function. She can't talk or move. Her parents take care of. For sake of this story, I will call her Jane.
This particular Sunday, her parents must have been away because one of her siblings and his family was taking care of her. Jane's niece was at church. Let's call her Penny. Penny is probably 10 years old. Penny planted herself next to Jane and "took care of her" during the service. She fixed her hair. Took off her Sunglasses. Held her head back when it lolled forward. Held the Missal (you know the book you use to follow the service) in front of Jane so Jane could follow along.
I watched Penny in awe and amazement. She wasn't being forced to take care of Jane by her father. She didn't seem like she was doing it out of obligation either. It was second nature to Penny.....like breathing.
I envied Penny. What an incredible child. No fear, full of compassion, a kind heart. I look at Penny and then look at myself. How would I handle taking care of Jane? I know the answer. I wouldn't be able to. My mother would, my sister would, but not me. (probably a good thing that I won't be having children). Since I was in church, I asked God to help me be like that little girl. Maybe an extra helping of compassion or a little less fear.
I think Penny will end up being a nurse or a social working...some occupation that can use her compassion.
I am still waiting for God to hear me....maybe some day I will be a little more compassionate.
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1 comments:
Reminds me very much of my friend Nancy's family and how all of the cousins included her daughter, Heather, (who pbly fit the description of the girl in church) in everything they could and grew up taking care of her. I think it is something that can be instilled in the children by the adults when a family has to deal with things like this. Nancy's older daughter, Shannon, is also in a group home, and the cousins went there on her birthday last year to cook dinner for the house. She's been a bridesmaid a few times and a godparent. Shannon and Heather are/were just part of the family. One of the condolence notes for Heather was from a caretaker at the place where she lived telling how Heather attended her bridal shower and wedding. I think maybe you just never had to learn to deal with this not that you coudln't do it.
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